Within/Without

Here is the thing.... Using Korean products has a downside that I don't care for. (1) they are hard to come by. You can't walk into Macy's or the drug store and purchase them. You will have to order them online if you aren't going to Asia. I tried some Asian stores but they are mostly food. You could purchase product at salons. Most of the salons that do facials have product to purchase but they are expensive. I'm a be honest... my money has other uses. And as important as my face is to me, having a roof over my head, a car to drive and cable to watch is equally important to me. IJS.... (2) Products = chemicals. If I'm going to use these products, I have to Know that I'm introducing chemicals into my system. I strive to live holistically. So using these products long term will pull me to the darkside, and I'm not feeling that. So after I figured out my regimen... I had to adjust it to my tastes. And it still is a WIP. For the OIL, I use coconut oil or ...

My skin is dry. And not excemitic dry, but just wholeheartedly dry. I'm also getting moley. Both my parents were VERY moley. My brother wasn't. And I'm not so much. I put that on my darker skin and vegetarianism. Both my parents were/are dark. My brother was light. Go figure. I noticed that when I became a vegetarian a lot of stuff changed on and in my body. I had hoped vegetarianism would prevent moles. It just delayed them. Also the texture of my skin is changing. My goal with my skin is for the texture to be that of a boiled egg white. Firm and dewy. The edges of my face were starting to feel leathery. My routine has always been effective, but not so much anymore. So I did what folks do now. I googled it. And came across Korean skincare. Y'all should google this because Asians are WAY ahead of us in this venue. I went to china in my early 30's and there was a esthetition on every corner like it was Mcdonalds. There were amazing skincare products being sold in...

Peace. As y'all know I'm super concerned about my weight. Who wouldn't be. But... I'm also concerned about my skin. These are the things that age you. I've hit my Culture Ciphers.... Women do not age distinctively. We get old. And like it or not that's the way it is. What a lot of women do is try to turn the clock back by ether mimicking what younger people are doing or reliving their glory decades. That looks ridiculous. We need to accept what life is handing us and make it look amazing. This Build is hella long so I'm going to give it out in sections.... For example, I used to have a coke bottle shape. Seriously. My waist has always been dead flat and tiny. Even when I weighed 300lbs, I still had an hourglass shape. Well that's gone now. I am a rectangle. The only way for me to get an hourglass is with a body shaper. And where I'll do that sometimes.... It won't be an everyday thing. So I have to adjust my dressing for a rectangle. So be it...

Peace. This is not an diet update because I'm on hiatus. But just because I'm on a break doesn't mean I don't have stuff going on. I have this skin thing happening with my face that I'm going to write about once I get a better handle on it. It's not that bad. I think it's actually promising. But that's not the nature of this Build. I haven't fleshed it all out yet. But this Build is about exercise..... When I first started this deprivation diet. Yes, deprivation.... because I'm always fucking hungry.... and low-grade mad about it. But it's working so I can't complain too much. But here is the thing. With the exception of the 1st week, I haven't been exercising. Nope. Not at all. And I'm still losing. Why? I have no clue. When I reflect on successful diets of the past, most of them... with the exception of 1... I didn't exercise. Other less successful diets I was exercising and food restriction yet losing not weight. So......

Peace. I am on my 1st official hiatus. With this low calorie diet you cannot just stay on it forever. Your body will learn (as it does with any diet) and compensate. The natural desire of the body is to retain weight for a famine. (Damn how many famines have there been, that bodies have made these modifications?) This is the reasons diets stop working, and the reason why when you go back to a diet that worked previously they don't. The human body is amazing.... So I decided to take my break beginning on my bornday (11/10) and resume after all the Thanksgiving food is gone. Roughly around 11/29. That's about 2 weeks. Then I will be back on the low calorie diet until the new year. I 'm supposed to only do 3 cycles and take a REAL rest. A 2 month hiatus. The cycles are supposed to get smaller and smaller. Bottom line.... I will be having chocolate on Valentines Day. I'm liking how I look. No one has said anything... so maybe it's just me. All my clothes are loos...

Peace. Right now my locs are almost to my waist. When they're wet, they do infact reach my waist. But when they dry they are much shorter. I began my locs in 2008. Once I decided to loc, I said I'd either start my locs at 40 or after a life event. My father died 3/1/2008. My original goal with my hair was to grow it until I could sit on it. I heard someone use that as a goal and I thought it was cool. But the reality of this super long and super heavy hair makes me daily question that goal. I think it's a female desire to want long hair. Some females like short hair, most like it a bit longer. When you see a woman with long hair you don't have another thought. But when you see a man with long hair, you look a second time and make a few assumptions. I can't speak on other cultures other than the Black American communities... Actually I could speak on the white American culture because in this country they act like anything else is the exception and not the r...

Peace. I figured I might as well get this update going before next week. I'll probably go off this diet until the Sunday after Thanksgiving. It's fall and fall is a hectic time for me. It starts with Labor Day then I have 2 anniversaries in September. I celebrate Halloween for 3 days like it was a major holiday and them comes My bornday in November and then Thanksgiving. After that, I dig on the holiday vibe until the solstice and then new years. During the time between Thanksgiving and the new year, my office is inundated with treats, cakes and so forth. I'm not missing out on all that. I don't plan to overindulge, but I will be sampling. B.U.T.!!!!! I am really digging how loose all my clothes are feeling. They went from snug to fit to loose. I see a difference but no one has mentioned one to me. Maybe it's all in my mind. If it is, I'm still cool with it. I mean whatever is in your mind is your reality. So if in my mind I'm a thin, svelte, non-craz...

Peace. Have I mentioned lately that I hate physicians? I have vets too but that's for another time. I'm a dentist. When someone comes in, they say what the problem is, that problem gets addressed. Oh we may tell you about some other isht we see, but what you came for will have a resolution. Physicians.... not so much. I went to the doctor. The 7 and I got married last month, and now I'm legal with insurance! My excema is pushing and I want a cortisone shot before it full out flares. I get 1 every year. Since this is kinda new insurance, they decided to give them a once over. I went in there for a shot. I didn't get it. because I'm not in full flare, they want to wait until I am fully flared, before they give me the shot. That seems cruel to me. Flares are painful and disfiguring. They want me to try a bunch of different types of meds.... that I told them I already have at home.... to see if they would work. They wanted to take my blood to check me for shit I kn...

Peace. This week was another good week. I lost an additional 2” from my waist. Which means I'm back to my regular measurements. Yay! And my clothes reflect it by not killing me to wear. I'm actually wearing the skirt that prompted me to lose weight. So there's that. But even though it's good to be back... it's not where I want to be. My 1st paid goal is to get under 40” in my waist area. That would require a loss of 3 more inches..... yeesh. This week I continued to keep it under 800 calories. I did fall back on the exercise though. I'm lazy is all. And I don't enjoy running anymore since I ran that race. Who knew I was a shitty runner? So I'm going to have to find something else to get my body moving. Technically, just living should burn off more than 800 cal/day. But I know... and you know... if I keep doing the same thing, eventually it will stop working. Oh well. I took a cheat day where I ate all the things I wanted. It was glorious. I went to...

Peace. Well.... I am satisfied to say that I lost 2 inches from my waist! Yay damnit! For all you haters out there, I know the 1st week is always the best week. I will still take the victory. I have 2 more inches to get back to my normal waist measurement. And 6 more to achieve my 1st goal. My scale broke and I really don't know how that translates into pounds. I work in a hospital. I suppose with dedication I could find a scale somewhere. I'm not that dedicated. At some point I will have to. My 2nd and 3rd goal is contingent on the scale. But my 1st is not. I'll look into finding a scale then. My issue of the day is supplements.... I hate to have to take them. I feel like you should adjust your diet and lifestyle to get all that you need. Truth be told.... I'm living in this reality like most people. I have a 9-5, and all the pressure that come with middle class living for this world. I don't have the time or money to focus entirely on being super healthy. I tr...

Peace..... Well here I go again.... I'm on another diet. I was switching out some clothes. It's getting cooler. And I realized that everything was tight. I was feeling like ground and seasoned swine and my clothes are the casing. That is not a good feeling. I got the tape measure out and check my waist measurement. It's the only measurement I ever know off the top of my head. And surely as I'm sitting here, the measurement wasn't just an inch bigger, but 5 inches bigger than it normally is. I even had to pin the blouse that I'm wearing and I'm wearing a minimizer bra!Woooooow....... I'm not buying or making a new wardrobe for this size. So I gotta handle my business. This summer was taxing for me. In April I had car accident and wasn't running like I normally would. Actually, I didn't run at all. Then my brother died in May and I have been mourning. Y'all know I sew, right? I made a mourning capsule wardrobe and I made everything supe...

Peace! I am 2 weeks deep in the program and I have yet to see anything in the bowl resembling a parasite. I don't know how I feel about this. On one hand, it means I'm clean and parasite free? Well what is moving around down there and attributing to my feelings of unwell? On the other hand... I did pay more than I normally would for a kit like this. The price is what has been keeping me from trying this before... And the belief that it loads you up with worms.... So if there are no worms, then I wasted my money. I just haven't been able to reconcile my feelings. A general update on how this kit makes you feel? Well if you don't drink enough water when you swallow the capsules, they burn like hell when they open. So... drink a LOT of water!!!! And it makes me poop... A lot. I hope I can still poop on my own when I'm done. My skin and eyes are super clear. I put that on all the pooping. I wanted to try a kit and I did. From now on, I'm going to go ...

Peace.... I have not been feeling well. I was super stressed out a couple of weeks ago because I was planning my family reunion. But thankfully that's over. I asked for it too so I can't really complain.... much. You live and learn. So I kinda stopped eating well then because I was busy.I burned the candle at both ends and in the middle. After the reunion, when I should have been happy and relaxed I came down with something super freaky... headaches, dizziness, sinusitis, photosensitivity, nausea, vomiting, excessive tiredness, aches and pains, bloating, cramps, my eyes are defocusing and jiggling, diarrhea alternating with constipation AND I feel something moving around in my gut.... Like everything at once. I was/am still a fucking mess. There is a thing going on called the . I really think this is what I have. Why do I think that? (a) Even though I don't live in Buckhead, I still live in NW Atlanta (Buckehead is in NW Atlanta), (b) I eat a lot of raw veggies, and...

Peace. I am not in menopause. BUT... I have been getting the postcards letting me know it's coming. It reminds me of when I was just a little moon and I'd go to the pediatrician and he would whisper to my mother that I was showing signs of puberty and it wouldn't be long until I got my period. They would then both turn and look at me sadly like I was dying. But its all good. I'm Culture Culture. This is what is supposed to be happening. If I was a Mayan I'd be dead by this age with 20 children and 100 grandchildren. But just because its coming doesn't mean I have to suffer. Menopause is cause by the ovaries shutting down. They has a start.... they get a finish (9:10). Baby girls aren't born with estrogen excreting ovaries. That's what happens at puberty. So After 30+ years of working every single day, my ovaries have earned a retirement. Menopause doesn't have to be scary or painful. When I realized that I had fibroids, I started research tha...

Peace. I realized that I didn't give an update on how the 3 day fast went... It's part of my internet persona. I learned a long time ago to never go back and check on how people respond to a post. I mean most normal people realize that the internet is (a) vast and (b) impersonal. Any and everybody could make a comment on something they have no frame of reference of exactly how it was meant. I read comments on blog posts but not comments of comments I make. Also, I find people who comment on comments don't ever make their own original comments. They just troll... I remember back in the myspace days, I would read posts and comments on a topic in a forum and people would be catching all kinds of feelings. Unless someone makes a personal attack on you... like calls your name... let it ride. But I commented on a topic about dinosaurs. Dude was saying since they never saw a live dinosaur, he didn't believe they existed and said it was just a hoax perpetrated by the whit...

Peace. It's almost the summer solstice.... I've had a horrible spring. Personally it was terrible... business just ok.... and diet wise it has sucked. I kept none of my post-fast resolutions. I put up a fight for a few weeks but ultimately, I failed. So... time to start over! So today marks the 1st day of my 3 day just fast (today is just water and coffee) that I will end with the advent of the solstice. I got some things going on..... First my stomach ain't right. I feel bloated, gassy and have a touch of diarrhea. Yes. Very sexy. That's why I'm fasting on only water today. I wanna flush whatever is in there acting up... out! I can feel that my fibroid is good and big. It's more palpable today than it was a year ago. Nothing I can do about that. I already had a myomectomy 14 years ago. At my age, all the doctors will do is tell me I REQUIRE a hysterectomy. And that's not gonna happen. I've spent a lot of money and energy on ...

Peace..... I haven't been running. I had a car accident April 7th and I have been therapy-ing and recuperating... I'm not dead and neither is my car but we are shook. My injuries have kept me from running. So I feel like a slug. The Dr. advises walking yoga and easy type workouts. Clearly he doesn't run. Walking doesn't give me a buzz like running does and yoga makes me nauseous. I'm doing what was suggested. But with a super shitty attitude. I like running. But I haven't run in so long I'm afraid when I get back to it... I'll be starting from scratch. And the weather is getting up there. this weekend it will be near 90*. So that means on the hottest of days, I'll be running training. Bully for me.... Because I'm not running, I'm not as hungry. So I'm not gaining a ton of weight. Since I'm on eating.... I'm not eating well at all. the accident has me achy and not really in the mood to stand at the stove or dehydrator. when...

Peace.... Yesterday was my last day of raw food eating before I was to make a decision regarding how I was going to continue to eat. Technically march 31st was going to be my last day, in this last season of fasting. And I blew it. I ate badly and I'm suffering for it. Tuesday is the day I fast. I know I've said this ad nauseum but... my Ayurvedic dosha says that I need to fast 1 day a week so that my digestive fire can catch up to my food consumption. My 1st husband and I shared a dosha. Most of the people in my Cipher a mostly Kapha. So I never really get to see exactly how the other doshas do. But my God has a different dosha. He's a Pitta. I can finally see how differently his dosha works with respect to mine. So the first thing that went wrong yesterday was I choose to not fast. When I fast, I take in my nourishment via juice. The juicer was unavailable, so I would have had to purchase juice. I wasn't feeling that. So... I decided that I'd just skip this...

Peace. I've been “high-rawing” all this month and I have some thoughts on it. It's a good way to eat if you want to heal. And when you get to a certain age, there is much healing that needs to happen even if you don't think so. Especially if you've been living savagely. Do I think it's the best diet of all time? No. Do I think it's safe and responsible to do for a measure of ones lifetime? No. Do I think you can eat like this long term. Yes. The reason I have developed this particular Cee, is because I have noticed that a lot of the Raw gurus have gone backed to cooked foods. Also I have noticed that many of the gurus who stuck with this plan no longer look healthy. This caused me to go back and do the Knowledge. And that is why and how I came to the above conclusion. Raw foodism is a healing diet, but not a forever diet. I've been healthy-mindful-ayurvedic eating for almost 20 years. I'm also a dentist. I believe that I am the best knower of my o...

Peace! Its been difficult to be 100% raw everyday. When I do... I let the world know via social media. But my current regimen of “High raw” doesn't bother me. I don't feel like I'm failing. I wanted to feel more vibrant... I want to be more bohemian.... I want to set my vibrational frequency higher that it has been and I feel I am successful on all fronts. So I'm not 100% raw all the time. I am at least 85% raw and that is a good thing. I have a man who is not willing to eat as I do... and whatever feelings I have about that... I must cook for him as that is part of our relationship agreement. Maybe that is what I am destined for... My 1st husband didn't become a vegetarian with me. I do think he might still be alive if he had. So I am used to cooking different meals to accommodate different people. And I'm not bitter... much. It would be easier for me if there were no distractions... like chips and cooked foods I love, but it is what it is. I have notice...

Peace. Now that I've transitioned from juice to raw vegan I want to discuss the different ways of being “raw.” In the raw community, like any other community, you have people who think they know everything and their way is the only way. I hate that in ANY Cipher. "You do you and I'll do me" is my anthem. I won't publicly judge you and I expect the same in return. When I do “raw” I mean the food was prepared under 105*. I chose that temperature because it was the lowest temperature that my dehydrator can un-cook food. Anything less and the food will grow fungus. You know what else kills me? Folks who disseminate the lifestyle as if they invented it. SMDH. I call that Columbusing. You will find raw vegans who have been expressing the lifestyle before the 1960's. First there is high raw which means 90%-100% ingestion of raw foods. And anything lower than 90% wouldn't be called raw, though newer designations come out every day: 50/50 raw/cooked or "...

Peace. My 1st installment of being the change. I think I'm going to call it “BtC.” I dutifully took pics of the pertinent food type activity lately. I had been mulling over the BtC initiative. I MUST have a plan for this raw thing. I suggest you have one too. Because once you decide what you want to eat, you have to plan prep. It's not like cooking where you can cook everything for the week on Sunday. Food might take days to prepare. So here is what my plan looks like.... I have what I want to eat for the entire month written out on this calendar. It's not fancy. It's actually a calender that the boss hands out at the beginning of the year. I photocopy the month and fill in the food. Then I go back and check the recipes to see when I need to start prepping and write it down on the calendar. I plan the recipes for the month, but not the prep. I do a week at a time for prep since that's how I shop. Today is Wednesday so I will plan out my food for next week to...

Peace. I finished my liquid fast... or fast from food. And all was good. I initially planned to only fast for 2 weeks and spend all of March “raw” or at least “high raw.” But my plans changed. I decided to go on and fast the full 3 weeks like I normally do. I felt really strong at the end of 2 weeks and considered how much more healing my body could do. Ra Un Nefer Amen has a book called Healing the Error of Living. And though I own the book, I like the title better. That's what I planned to do. I'm not sure how much healing I accomplished, I do know I felt like I was starving. I mean I was HUNGRY... distracted kind of hungry. It didn't help that I got disgusted with everything I had to drink. I didn't want fresh juice, water or smoothies... I just wanted food! Additionally, I got sick. I've never gotten sick outside of detox on a fast before. It was a sinus thing that dropped me on my ass for 4 days. I don't think I ever had that type of response to fasting ...

Peace. Hear I go again with fasting. This is my 15th Fast... Wow!!!! This year I decided to start early. The reasons were that February 2015 is a perfect month and makes March 2015 almost perfect as well. So I chose 2/15 as the Sunday to begin. Unfortunately that was right in the middle of my period. Also, it involved a cold snap. Fasting and periods lowers your body temperature so I'm freaking cold right now! And I don't see a way to warm up. I am experiencing detox. And y'all know the plan was to ease into this in a way to NOT experience any. As much as I HATE feeling sickly... it just doesn't jive with my personality... I know detox happens when you cleanse. I mean isn't the the reason for cleansing in the 1st place. I had a minor epiphany this past week, that I'd like to share.... Disease cannot exist in a healthful environment. So if you switch your environment from say, acidic to alkaline, the detox must come because that's how all the badsies ge...