Back on the Horse

Peace.

It's almost the summer solstice.... I've had a horrible spring. Personally it was terrible... business just ok.... and diet wise it has sucked. I kept none of my post-fast resolutions. I put up a fight for a few weeks but ultimately, I failed. So... time to start over!

So today marks the 1st day of my 3 day just fast (today is just water and coffee) that I will end with the advent of the solstice.

I got some things going on.....
First my stomach ain't right. I feel bloated, gassy and have a touch of diarrhea. Yes. Very sexy. That's why I'm fasting on only water today. I wanna flush whatever is in there acting up... out!

I can feel that my fibroid is good and big. It's more palpable today than it was a year ago. Nothing I can do about that. I already had a myomectomy 14 years ago. At my age, all the doctors will do is tell me I REQUIRE a hysterectomy. And that's not gonna happen. I've spent a lot of money and energy on alternative treatments that haven't worked. So I have made my peace with having a belly. I just hope it's not doing something like interfere with my ability to poop.

I'm having allergic reactions to being home. It may be a heat rash. Either way. I'm gonna clean and get thing set upright. This may not be the best thing for my skin, but I'm going to apply alcohol poultices to keep me cool and to stop the irritation. I am sooooo close to using liniment. But pride won't let me take this step towards old-ladyhood.

I'm also, going to meditate a lot this weekend. I need some answers to life questions. When I keep myself busy with millennial things there is no time left for contemplation. I think a lot of folks have this issue and don't realize it. We can be super distracted by tv... music... devices... that we don't have time to be quiet and work out our issues. These 3 days will be very contemplative for me.

I need to reconfigure my eating diet. I am feeling like I have deficiencies. I might not be getting enough protein. I have a serious case of the stupids. Tomorrow I'm going to add protein to my smoothies. And maybe drink a protein smoothie a day. I also need to get back on the vitamin bandwagon. The only time I can really take them is at 7 pm. Any earlier and they will peak my appetite. Any later and I will run the chance of falling asleep before I take them. I already have an alarm set. I just refuse to take them. My eyes and bowel movements tell me I've slipped back to iron deficient anemia. So I REALLY need my vitamins. I want to recommit to exercise too. I notice when I sit too long I get old lady stiff. And my chiropractor says I have low upper body strength for a woman my age. More yoga. More weights. More walking. But it's so damn hot and it's not going to get cooler for 3 months. In my next house I'm getting a good treadmill.

So I'm taking a food break. And I'm going to read a little more and study my 120 lessons. I always like to work on more than thing. I hope to have answer by Sunday.... And on Sunday when I do resume eating again... It would be my goal to eat only whole foods and no gluten, high fructose corn syrup and all organic. Chances are high I will go back to eating as I always have. But maybe, just maybe something will stick.


Peace

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