Meditation #1

Peace,

I'm a sit here and type and act like I ain't been gone a hot second....

One of my New Years Resolutions was regular meditation. I find meditation useful because it puts me in a pleasant headspace. Once I figured out how to do it in a way that worked for me, I enjoyed it immensely. But the lives most Americans live is super busy and small things that we do for pleasure are frowned upon if they don't generate gold. But since my life has taken on a different tenure, I'm reincorporating meditation back into my rotation.

So this morning is cold AF. You know it's cold when you hear the heat really kicking in and the house is still chilly. Our home is pretty tight (not drafty) so for us to really feel the cool means its cold outside. And regardless of the balance, I strongly dislike cold weather. So I awoke.... and right now that's when I'm planning to meditate.... with the thoughts of summer and that made me happy. I wish to be happy. So I began my meditation on "Summer in the city." You know what else I thought made me happy? New Jersey. So I started meditating on Summers in NJ.

But it didn't make me happy. I was thinking about "Do the Right Thing" or "Crooklyn" which (a) wasn't my story, (b) wasn't happy and most importantly, (c) wasn't real. Then my thoughts shifted to happier summers. Do you know what? There weren't in NJ. They weren't from my youth... some were most weren't. And I realized that I prefer my adulthood to my youth.

Yes as a young person my family was intact. But I had no autonomy. As an adult, I have everything I want. So much in fact, want has really ceased for me. At the end of the day, isn't that the goal?

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