Meditation #1

Peace,

I'm a sit here and type and act like I ain't been gone a hot second....

One of my New Years Resolutions was regular meditation. I find meditation useful because it puts me in a pleasant headspace. Once I figured out how to do it in a way that worked for me, I enjoyed it immensely. But the lives most Americans live is super busy and small things that we do for pleasure are frowned upon if they don't generate gold. But since my life has taken on a different tenure, I'm reincorporating meditation back into my rotation.

So this morning is cold AF. You know it's cold when you hear the heat really kicking in and the house is still chilly. Our home is pretty tight (not drafty) so for us to really feel the cool means its cold outside. And regardless of the balance, I strongly dislike cold weather. So I awoke.... and right now that's when I'm planning to meditate.... with the thoughts of summer and that made me happy. I wish to be happy. So I began my meditation on "Summer in the city." You know what else I thought made me happy? New Jersey. So I started meditating on Summers in NJ.

But it didn't make me happy. I was thinking about "Do the Right Thing" or "Crooklyn" which (a) wasn't my story, (b) wasn't happy and most importantly, (c) wasn't real. Then my thoughts shifted to happier summers. Do you know what? There weren't in NJ. They weren't from my youth... some were most weren't. And I realized that I prefer my adulthood to my youth.

Yes as a young person my family was intact. But I had no autonomy. As an adult, I have everything I want. So much in fact, want has really ceased for me. At the end of the day, isn't that the goal?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Backsliding on Home

All right, all right….. I know I’m prolly setting myself up for failure. Especially since I’m about to go to Show & Prove; and y’all know how it’s done on vacation… But… I think…. I am going to get back on the “raw food” bandwagon. Two reasons. 1st reason: I feel guilty every time I put non-raw food in my mouth. And I try to rationalize it all out by eating a salad with it. Imagine how it all looks, BK (just an example. I don’t do fast food on the reg) veggie burger with cheese and all the fixins, onion rings (cause I only eat McDonald’s fries) a vanilla shake and a side salad. I rationalized that the fixins and the salad are raw and therefore count toward my goal of ‘high raw’. NOT. 2nd reason: And most importantly…. This morning I put on a dress that I couldn’t wear last summer. The dress was so tight I felt like a sausage in it. I almost gave it to Goodwill. But I wanted to wear a sweater today that I rigged last night and this dress was a good fit. I expected to have to wear al
Read more

"I Itch"

I have eczema. I have had it since I was a small child. My mother reports I’ve been spotted since infancy. I remember getting in trouble on purpose just to get the beating that would satisfy the itching for a minute. That weirded my Ole Earth out. I remember one of my godmothers used to slather me with bacon grease. She swore that that would calm the lesions. It did to some degree. But the dog became very friendly afterward. I still have outbreaks. Most of the time it’s a small outbreak. 80% of the time it occurs only on my arms, legs, and back. But it can pop out anywhere. Don’t sleep on adult eczema. It can get really bad, disfiguring and incredibly painful. I put it, mostly, on the weather. I usually have outbreaks in the winter or if I go somewhere and the weather is distinctly colder than my regular climate. I ALWAYS get something in the winter time. Whether it be light patches just where my bra strap rubs against my skin or all over my body. It feels like little need
Read more

Skirting the Issue

I put on a skirt this morning. That’s not impressive. I put on a skirt every morning. I don’t generally where pants outdoors. I pulled this skirt out of the dryer. Guess what? It is loose. Real loose. I am happy dancing. You gotta be mindful of the history of the skirt. This garment began its life as pants about 5 years ago. Back then I was still wearing pants. When I decided to cease my slacks wearing ways and actions, I did not want to incur the expense of having to replace garments that I wore on the regular. It made perfect sense, since I sew, to convert pants to skirts. That’s what I did with the skirt I’m currently wearing. The trick is the skirt will be a pencil skirt if you don’t have material to add. And who does? Also my skirts have to be long. (3/4) So I have these fitted pencil skirts that used to be pants hanging in my closet. They serve the same function that they did when they were pants. Maybe I’ll blog about why I don’t wear pants later. I said all that to
Read more