Within/Without

My fast is officially over!!!!! And my sweet weekend is officially over too. There was a lot of eating opportunities this weekend. There was a lot of social equality going on in my cipher. I did my thing thing. But now that the sobering breeze is flowing over my head wrap I have to get back on the good foot and tend to my body. Because I was fasting, I knew I wasn’t going to be physically able to overdue it this weekend, I wasn’t at all worried about my eating behavior this weekend. But now that things are starting to normalize again, I have begun to become concerned once more. This morning I started to eat as planned. I juices some fruit, made my lunch, and have plans to eat a sensible salad for dinner. Also, I had an opportunity to eat a croissant and a danish. I passed on the danish. Not saying that was a better choice, but I am showing some restraint. I like that my skirts are loose and can wear my heels in peace. I’m still drinking lots of water still. We’ll see how that g...

Happy Asiatic New Year!!!!! 2 days away from the end of my fast and I’m hungry and pre-menstrual and hungry, and angry and hungry. The only reason I’m going to continue to fast is because I have made it this far. No other reason. I am hungry damnit! I have been maintaining. Doing everything I said I was going to do. The detox has long since subsided and I am not physically hungry. I am mentally hungry. Meaning I have no hunger pangs or discomfort. But when I see food I want it, I’m still obsessed with food and I find it difficult to be around actual food. It has been longer than 2 years since I last fasted and since that time the God has moved in. When I was single and living alone, it was easy to remove all temptation from the house, but now….. I find it VERY difficult to abstain from food. Especially when the God can’t cook, and I have to cook his meals. I have been managing by mass cooking on the weekend. It’s hard to cook food that I would normally eat and not taste it. But tha...

Peace! Day twelve… Unbelievable. Do you know last week, after all that ugly detox, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do this fast. I had been investigating other methods of pre-fasting. Maybe a bunch of 3 day fasts leading up to a 10 day fast or something. But I am happy to report, the worst is behind me. I am now in the good part. I am feeling sublime….. Though there are food cravings like crazy!!! Last night I saw a commercial for tacos at Taco Bell with Dorito shells! What???? It’s about damn time. I would have been out the door! But it is on my list for that day after the fast is over. I have been really interested in food. I mean REALLY interested. I have been watching the cooking channels like crazy. You would think that I would avoid those channels like the plague but for some reason I have been really enjoying them. I notice that when I fast, I do that. My interest in food is perked up. I read an article that cited a study, that people who fasted started to obsess over food vs. ...

Day 5 The Power Day! If you say so... The word is detox. So far I’m feeling really blah for this fast. I don’t know if that is because of detox or what. I must say that my hunger has decreased; but it hasn’t completely left me. The first 2 days were bad. Also… I experienced a level of detox on Friday that I had never experienced before. I have never been moved to vomit before. And I was and I did! It was crazy!!!! Of course since that was a completely new and unexpected effect I had to Google it hard. And what I found was that it was severe detox. Now I know I haven’t fasted in about 4 years, but even the first time I fasted I didn’t have that violent a reaction. It was really not a good look. I have been followed by a low grade of nausea that I’m not really cool with. And I have been really tired. So much in fact, that I have been sleeping a lot. Must I must need it so I’m going with it. I have been having some abdominal cramping and sharp stabbing pains since day 2. I don’t kno...