The Middle Aged Question....
Peace Folks!
I was reading a blog by a 'fellow' sewist. I use the parenthases because her work is more proficient, prolific and higher quality than mine. She was saying that size doesn't matter to her because she makes all her own clothes. This comment got me thinking.
I make most of my own clothes; so for me, as well, size isn't an issue. I am always going to have what I want to wear. I am healthy, meaning I have no diagnosed conditions that require treatment of any sort. I eat well. I excercise. There is nothing wrong with me. So why do I feel like there is always something that I need to be doing to better myself? Am I trying to be other than my ownself? What is my ownself? A 40 year old woman.
I look in the mirror and I am satisfied with what I see. I'm not really sure where that satisfaction comes from. Am I pleased with how I look? Or have I just accepted how I look. Some would ask, What's the difference? And a big part of me is in that number. But other parts are concerned with whats going on. I'm always going to strive to maintain, but what of improvements? Are they neccessary at this point?
Since the mornings are dark, I have moved my walks from before work to after. More daylight more people. I'm not going to walk on my lunch break. I tried that years ago and recognize that isn't going to work for me. Evenings are safer. And it's balanced, 6 months in the morning, 6 months in the evening. Since I'm walking in the evening now, I can wear my good shoes in the morning. One of my transit friends wanted to stop at Smoothie King. Okay. But Smoothie King is 2 blocks away from the bus stop. And that would require another 2 block walk to the train station. Normally that's not a problem. But when your wearing 4 inch boots it can be. These boots were not made for walking, but they handled their business. So that's 4 blocks on top of the 2 to get to the 1st stop. Then there is the downward descent of 100 steps and then back up. There are 2 block from the train station to the job as well.
I have said all of this to say.... I'm almost 40! I'm too old to be trotting around in heels all day. My high heel travelling days are behind me. Not saying I won't wear them, just not all over the city. And this is the real age-teller.... I don't care. I was that uncomfortable. I have arrived at the 'comfort is more important than fashion' point.
Here I am. I'm forty. My body feel forty. Inside I feel about 27. But my attitude is 40. So should I try to behave like one other than 40? Should I try to look like one other than 40? Do I really want friends in their early 30s? Am I afraid of being 40? Yeah, I have always considered 40 old and still do. But there is onlly one way to stop it's approach, and I'm more scared of that. Is there such a thing as getting old gracefully? Lots of questions that only I can answer.
Peace
I was reading a blog by a 'fellow' sewist. I use the parenthases because her work is more proficient, prolific and higher quality than mine. She was saying that size doesn't matter to her because she makes all her own clothes. This comment got me thinking.
I make most of my own clothes; so for me, as well, size isn't an issue. I am always going to have what I want to wear. I am healthy, meaning I have no diagnosed conditions that require treatment of any sort. I eat well. I excercise. There is nothing wrong with me. So why do I feel like there is always something that I need to be doing to better myself? Am I trying to be other than my ownself? What is my ownself? A 40 year old woman.
I look in the mirror and I am satisfied with what I see. I'm not really sure where that satisfaction comes from. Am I pleased with how I look? Or have I just accepted how I look. Some would ask, What's the difference? And a big part of me is in that number. But other parts are concerned with whats going on. I'm always going to strive to maintain, but what of improvements? Are they neccessary at this point?
Since the mornings are dark, I have moved my walks from before work to after. More daylight more people. I'm not going to walk on my lunch break. I tried that years ago and recognize that isn't going to work for me. Evenings are safer. And it's balanced, 6 months in the morning, 6 months in the evening. Since I'm walking in the evening now, I can wear my good shoes in the morning. One of my transit friends wanted to stop at Smoothie King. Okay. But Smoothie King is 2 blocks away from the bus stop. And that would require another 2 block walk to the train station. Normally that's not a problem. But when your wearing 4 inch boots it can be. These boots were not made for walking, but they handled their business. So that's 4 blocks on top of the 2 to get to the 1st stop. Then there is the downward descent of 100 steps and then back up. There are 2 block from the train station to the job as well.
I have said all of this to say.... I'm almost 40! I'm too old to be trotting around in heels all day. My high heel travelling days are behind me. Not saying I won't wear them, just not all over the city. And this is the real age-teller.... I don't care. I was that uncomfortable. I have arrived at the 'comfort is more important than fashion' point.
Here I am. I'm forty. My body feel forty. Inside I feel about 27. But my attitude is 40. So should I try to behave like one other than 40? Should I try to look like one other than 40? Do I really want friends in their early 30s? Am I afraid of being 40? Yeah, I have always considered 40 old and still do. But there is onlly one way to stop it's approach, and I'm more scared of that. Is there such a thing as getting old gracefully? Lots of questions that only I can answer.
Peace
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