One Day at a Time
I'm only human, I'm just a woman. Help me believe in what I could be And all that I am. Show me the stairway, I have to climb. Lord for my sake, teach me to take One day at a time.
I started this weekend to get back on the healthy bandwagon. I wanted to do a 3-day cleanse. It was not easy. The goal is to cut junk food down to a bare minimum and eat only healthy foods. Not so much for weight loss, as that would be nice, but I recognize that all folks aren’t meant to be thin. (I’ve decided to be the chic chubby chick) But we are meant to be healthy and longevity without chronic health problems is the ultimate goal. I hate the thought and action of having to give up something I cherish. I cherish junk food. I love junk food as much as I loved smoking and drinking. But just as I put those nasty habits away, I am struggling to put away the junk food habit. And it ain’t easy. Damn it ain’t easy!
I have been a vegetarian, raw foodist, sometimes vegan and at times a pescatarian for a decade now. But junk knows no category. It falls in all categories. I have learned to make raw salt and vinegar potato chips, brownies and banana ice cream. I ain’t no joke. But let me get back to the topic at hand….
On Friday, I began cleaning out my refrigerator of all the foolishness and mishigas that I had in there. I threw it away, I didn’t eat it. Although I wanted too. Luckily most of that stuff was going bad, if not bad already. The only foods left in there are mostly raw fruits and vegetables. I was so good Friday it doesn’t make any sense. A friend of mine invited me over for brunch. Well knowing I planned to be uber-strict I went to the supermarket and brought my own fruit salad. A big one too. While she ate grits and turkey sausage, I ate fruit and drank a lot of water. Now this might have been a little cheating because I don’t eat grits and I wouldn’t have eaten the turkey sausage anyway, but them Culture boxes of Krispy Kremes would have seen some action. I stayed the course and ignored those beautifully fragrant and velvety donuts. That evening I had more fruit and a salad. Saturday I had the rest of the fruit that I bought and a LOT of water. And yesterday I had cherries for breakfast, and broccoli cauliflower and carrots for dinner.
Do you know what was surprising? I wasn’t completely starving. Oh there were moments that I considered roasting up my cat. But he knew better than to come close during those moments. But the oddest thing that I experienced was the cravings. I wanted all manner of flesh food. That was/is crazy, because again, as previously stated, I haven’t had those things in nearly a decade. Why would my body be craving a Quarter Pounder with cheese or a Whopper Jr.? That’s actually frightening because the craving were strong.
I’m still on the water too. I actually have come to like water a bit. I have noticed that the skin all over my body is different. Reminds me of those nail things that when you put something against them it leaves an impression. That’s what happens with my skin. If I rest my elbow against my knee for even a minute, it will leave an impression and it will be all red. I have no idea why. The thought (no proof) is that all this water is finding its way to the connective tissue under my skin, hopefully hydrating it. When that goes away I know that I need another glass.
I realize to have lofty ambitions is admirable but often unattainable. I can’t think real long term like this. I am a straight junk food junkie and have been one as long as I remember. I know this food is not good for me. It makes me feel shitty and it fucks with my complexion. I have had peptic and esophageal ulcers in the past. I KNOW that changes have to be made or I will go the way of most of the old people I know. With a pharmacy of medications sitting behind my sink and spending Sunday evening loading up the pill box. I don’t want that for myself. I want better. And now is the time to implement these changes, not when the damage is already done. I have to emulate the alcoholics, narcotics and gospel singers… One day at a time. I have to summon the strength to do all the things that I have to do. Yesterday’s gone, and tomorrow may never be mine. Damn that song is depressing.
Peace
I started this weekend to get back on the healthy bandwagon. I wanted to do a 3-day cleanse. It was not easy. The goal is to cut junk food down to a bare minimum and eat only healthy foods. Not so much for weight loss, as that would be nice, but I recognize that all folks aren’t meant to be thin. (I’ve decided to be the chic chubby chick) But we are meant to be healthy and longevity without chronic health problems is the ultimate goal. I hate the thought and action of having to give up something I cherish. I cherish junk food. I love junk food as much as I loved smoking and drinking. But just as I put those nasty habits away, I am struggling to put away the junk food habit. And it ain’t easy. Damn it ain’t easy!
I have been a vegetarian, raw foodist, sometimes vegan and at times a pescatarian for a decade now. But junk knows no category. It falls in all categories. I have learned to make raw salt and vinegar potato chips, brownies and banana ice cream. I ain’t no joke. But let me get back to the topic at hand….
On Friday, I began cleaning out my refrigerator of all the foolishness and mishigas that I had in there. I threw it away, I didn’t eat it. Although I wanted too. Luckily most of that stuff was going bad, if not bad already. The only foods left in there are mostly raw fruits and vegetables. I was so good Friday it doesn’t make any sense. A friend of mine invited me over for brunch. Well knowing I planned to be uber-strict I went to the supermarket and brought my own fruit salad. A big one too. While she ate grits and turkey sausage, I ate fruit and drank a lot of water. Now this might have been a little cheating because I don’t eat grits and I wouldn’t have eaten the turkey sausage anyway, but them Culture boxes of Krispy Kremes would have seen some action. I stayed the course and ignored those beautifully fragrant and velvety donuts. That evening I had more fruit and a salad. Saturday I had the rest of the fruit that I bought and a LOT of water. And yesterday I had cherries for breakfast, and broccoli cauliflower and carrots for dinner.
Do you know what was surprising? I wasn’t completely starving. Oh there were moments that I considered roasting up my cat. But he knew better than to come close during those moments. But the oddest thing that I experienced was the cravings. I wanted all manner of flesh food. That was/is crazy, because again, as previously stated, I haven’t had those things in nearly a decade. Why would my body be craving a Quarter Pounder with cheese or a Whopper Jr.? That’s actually frightening because the craving were strong.
I’m still on the water too. I actually have come to like water a bit. I have noticed that the skin all over my body is different. Reminds me of those nail things that when you put something against them it leaves an impression. That’s what happens with my skin. If I rest my elbow against my knee for even a minute, it will leave an impression and it will be all red. I have no idea why. The thought (no proof) is that all this water is finding its way to the connective tissue under my skin, hopefully hydrating it. When that goes away I know that I need another glass.
I realize to have lofty ambitions is admirable but often unattainable. I can’t think real long term like this. I am a straight junk food junkie and have been one as long as I remember. I know this food is not good for me. It makes me feel shitty and it fucks with my complexion. I have had peptic and esophageal ulcers in the past. I KNOW that changes have to be made or I will go the way of most of the old people I know. With a pharmacy of medications sitting behind my sink and spending Sunday evening loading up the pill box. I don’t want that for myself. I want better. And now is the time to implement these changes, not when the damage is already done. I have to emulate the alcoholics, narcotics and gospel singers… One day at a time. I have to summon the strength to do all the things that I have to do. Yesterday’s gone, and tomorrow may never be mine. Damn that song is depressing.
Peace
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