This made me laugh

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The Contenders!

I was cleaning my home last night. I appreciate when the nesting impulse kicks in, really. I’m having a houseguest in a few weeks and the time is of the essence in getting my queendom right and exact. Y’all know how folks clean for guests. And it occurred to me that maybe I do it a bit differently than most folks do. I guess this is more of the without than within. First of all, I never exist in filth. My home may become disheveled, but never nasty. And if I come into another’s cipher, it must be at least picked up or I won’t stay there. And I don’t help folks clean either. If your spot is nasty, I assume that’s how you like it. I came off the traditional cleaning product grid a long time ago. There was a time I liked to clean with caustic products. I used to like the ‘high’ that one gets from using ammonia. Ammonia was my drug, I mean product of choice. I remember passing out in a windowless, poorly ventilated bathroom, because I was cleaning every square inch of it with strai...
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Backsliding on Home

All right, all right….. I know I’m prolly setting myself up for failure. Especially since I’m about to go to Show & Prove; and y’all know how it’s done on vacation… But… I think…. I am going to get back on the “raw food” bandwagon. Two reasons. 1st reason: I feel guilty every time I put non-raw food in my mouth. And I try to rationalize it all out by eating a salad with it. Imagine how it all looks, BK (just an example. I don’t do fast food on the reg) veggie burger with cheese and all the fixins, onion rings (cause I only eat McDonald’s fries) a vanilla shake and a side salad. I rationalized that the fixins and the salad are raw and therefore count toward my goal of ‘high raw’. NOT. 2nd reason: And most importantly…. This morning I put on a dress that I couldn’t wear last summer. The dress was so tight I felt like a sausage in it. I almost gave it to Goodwill. But I wanted to wear a sweater today that I rigged last night and this dress was a good fit. I expected to have to wear al...
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"I Itch"

I have eczema. I have had it since I was a small child. My mother reports I’ve been spotted since infancy. I remember getting in trouble on purpose just to get the beating that would satisfy the itching for a minute. That weirded my Ole Earth out. I remember one of my godmothers used to slather me with bacon grease. She swore that that would calm the lesions. It did to some degree. But the dog became very friendly afterward. I still have outbreaks. Most of the time it’s a small outbreak. 80% of the time it occurs only on my arms, legs, and back. But it can pop out anywhere. Don’t sleep on adult eczema. It can get really bad, disfiguring and incredibly painful. I put it, mostly, on the weather. I usually have outbreaks in the winter or if I go somewhere and the weather is distinctly colder than my regular climate. I ALWAYS get something in the winter time. Whether it be light patches just where my bra strap rubs against my skin or all over my body. It feels like little need...
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